I am a Badass

I have an old-fashioned bike that I use to scoot around Buffalo. It is old and heavy, but I look kind of cute on it, and it gets me where I need to go. Because I don’t have a garage, I have to lock my bike up behind my building, which I don’t mind except for when I get home at night. There is something about the back of my building that freaks me out. It’s all locked up, and I’m sure it’s safe, but still, I get the creepers when I am in the backyard in the dark. Remember when you were a little kid and you didn’t like going in the basement? It’s like that back there. So, when I when I come home in the dark on my bike, I usually lock it up at a nearby business with a bike rack, and transfer it to the backyard the next day.

But sometimes I forget.

Sometimes, I leave my poor little bike locked up on a busy street for days at a time. I just got home from a week long trip to Minnesota, and my bike was parked on the street the entire time, which is pushing it, even for me. I pretty much deserve to have my bike stolen, which is why when I saw last night that it hadn’t been stolen, I was quite pleased. The plan was to wait until this morning and transfer it to the backyard, where it belongs.

Well, last night I was in my car, looking for a parking space, and I saw two kids trying to steal my bike. I happened to drive by at the exact moment they had the pruner/bike lock clipper thingy out! With a burst of uncharacteristic bravery, I slammed on the brakes, opened my car window and yelled, “That’s my bike!” at the thugs. Oh, they tried to intimidate me, but I was not scared (I was on a busy street in full view of several people). I whipped out my cell phone and threatened to call the cops if they didn’t step away from my bike right this instant. They had no choice but to flee in the face of my unstoppable fury! It was awesome. I saved my bike and I realized that I am a HERO!

You can call me, “Kate, Awesome Defender of Bikes”, from now on.

Bike Saved

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15 Responses to “I am a Badass”


  1. 1 elise September 7, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    kate, that is the BEST THING i have read in days…

  2. 2 Shalini September 7, 2007 at 5:23 pm

    The funniest part of that story would be if someone then stole your bike while you were taking that picture.

  3. 3 Kate September 7, 2007 at 8:02 pm

    If someone had tried to steal my bike while I was taking this picture, I would have simply chased them down and kicked their ass.

  4. 4 Cousin Mary September 7, 2007 at 9:30 pm

    Yes, you would have, because you are a fearless badass biker girl.

    That picture is so inspired. And the tombstones in the background… oh, I was going to say they’re an ominous reminder of what could happen to bike thieves, but the whole picture is so cheery and sweet (you can almost hear a chorus of angelic voices) the threat just won’t work.

  5. 5 elise September 7, 2007 at 9:31 pm

    will you be wearing a cape from now on?

  6. 6 Kate September 7, 2007 at 9:34 pm

    The funny thing is, I actually had that picture already. I took it last Spring. Leave it to me to have stock photography of an angel overlooking my bike!

  7. 7 janz September 7, 2007 at 10:37 pm

    Good for you Kate! But really, go get a nice Kryptonite lock and next time you’ll be able to laugh at them trying to cut it.

  8. 8 Glenn September 8, 2007 at 11:29 am

    Kate,
    Go on wit yo’ badassness. You can play the viola, learn all about hockey, scare away thugz…..what CAN’T you do????
    you are soooo awesome!
    GLenn
    P.S.- I recently found out that I am 1 degree of separation away from Andrew Peters….thus 2 degrees of separation away from every other Sabre. Stay tuned….things are going to get interesting…

  9. 9 Christina September 8, 2007 at 4:32 pm

    Kate, what is your Super Hero power? X-ray vision? …Hockey? …Blogging?!

  10. 10 ashley September 9, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    oh my god kate i am so impressed. I do not think I would have been so bad ass. I will definitely from now on, be calling you bad ass kate.

  11. 11 uncle_paul_mast September 9, 2007 at 11:16 pm

    cousin mary said “badass”. that’s badass.

  12. 12 markb September 13, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    Kate – Yikes! You are now the online equivalent of our tough guy. Watch out, Ray Emery!

  13. 13 Christina September 16, 2007 at 3:56 pm

    Kate, I love your new blog, but I do think that Oh for Fun is being neglected. If you truly are a superhero, you can handle 2 blogs. :)

  14. 14 Cousin Mary September 16, 2007 at 10:10 pm

    I’m with Christina. Come on Super Katebits, some pithy, terse and germane observations are in order.

  15. 15 Pookie September 17, 2007 at 12:37 am

    Holy cow! I’m so proud of you, badass! I totally would have been like, “Huh. There goes my bike. It was nice knowing you, Bike. I hope those thugs take good care of you.”

    As for the creepy backyard, I hear that. Stately IPB Manor is a mere 10 minutes from our old house but for some reason, it’s about 8,000 times darker in this neck of the woods. The first night we moved in, we heard something rustling in the backyard — Schnookie, Boomer and I all shrieked like little girls and booked it for the front door. We decided it must be a hobo (in the wilds of semi-rural suburban NJ), and although we’ve all adjusted to the lack of light pollution, none of us want to go out back after dark lest the hobo attack us.


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