Almost three years ago, on the night our beloved friend Scott died so suddenly, I had an amazing dream.  I didn’t find out about his death until morning, so that night I went to sleep unaware of the unfolding tragedy.

In the dream, I was playing the viola in a beautiful, empty concert hall.  Playing was effortless and hugely enjoyable.  One part of the dream I remember vividly is making a huge shift and then laughing out loud as I totally nailed the high note.  Unlike any real life experience playing the viola, in my dream, playing was just pure joy.  It was fun, and exciting, and easy as pie.  I have never had another dream like this, before or since, and I’ve always kind of thought of it as a little gift from Scott.  As crazy as it sounds, I believe he was trying to teach me something on his way out of my earthly life.  When I think about this now, when I really stop to consider that dream, I can remember it, and I can stop the constant churning in my mind.

I learned a lot from Scott, both in his life and in his death. 

I miss him so much.


3 Responses to “Fearless”

  1. 1 Snoskred July 5, 2007 at 4:47 am

    What a wonderful dream to have. I’m sorry for your loss. :(

    When my Grandfather died, I went to visit him and he held my hand for maybe the first time in years. His hand was really hot because he had a fever, and for hours afterwards I could feel his hot thumb resting on my thumb.

    Many times since, when things go to hell in a handbasket, I can feel his hot thumb resting on my thumb again. It’s not just a mental thing, the thumb actually gets hotter and other people can feel it, it’s not all in my head. ;) It sounds stupid writing it out like that, but it’s like a reassuring hand on the shoulder to me, that everything will turn out ok because he’s watching and taking care of things.

    I’m glad you have that dream to remember. ;)


  2. 3 mary July 7, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    hey kate,

    what an amazing dream. i’m finally writing now that i have my computer with me. kinhaven is really rural so i don’t have any cell phone service and i have to drive to the nearest town to check email. i hope you have a great time at apple hill. do you want to meet for lunch at burdick’s on your day off? it’s 30 minutes from ah in walpole , nh and really yummy. maybe elise can come too. email me at my comcast address if you get a chance.



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