Thing I Find Irrationally Annoying, Part 904

Why in the name of Sweet Baby Jesus are all capers sold in tiny narrow jars? No one has a spoon that narrow! It’s impossible to get the capers out without dumping out all of the caper brine, thus leaving the unused capers to dry out in the fridge. I think this is a travesty.

I enjoy capers very much, but in all of the recipes I have ever made that include capers, I have never used more than a few tablespoons at a time. Capers are a delicacy to be used in moderation, which is why it is annoying that they are only available in a container that is unsuitable for preserving leftovers.

Caper jars are stupid.


10 Responses to “Thing I Find Irrationally Annoying, Part 904”

  1. 1 Sam June 14, 2007 at 7:12 pm

    So, when did you first realize that the soul of Andy Rooney had taken over your body?

  2. 2 Kate June 14, 2007 at 7:47 pm

    Graaaa! Eff you, Sammy! Phumpft. Meh.

  3. 3 Cousin Mary June 14, 2007 at 10:00 pm

    Well, I was about to congratulate Kate for once again nailing it; identifying a wrong, stating the case, defining the issue, alerting the lot of us to something we may have only been unconsciously aware of. (I just ended that with a preposition. To avoid that, I should have written “…something of which we may have been…”) (Stop interrupting!)

    Then SAM nailed it!

  4. 4 Janz June 14, 2007 at 10:53 pm

    Kate, try buying your capers in salt instead of vinegar. You can then “pour” them out on to your hand and return the ones you don’t need. No spoon necessary. Just remember to rinse them off before using because they are really salty.

  5. 5 Christina June 14, 2007 at 11:11 pm

    No surprise, I have a solution to this… When I cook with capers I get them out of the jar with a tiny seafood fork. I have extras and would be happy to give you one.

  6. 6 miriam June 15, 2007 at 2:03 am

    Or you could join the evil empire a.k.a. Cosco. The bulk buggers come in a jelly-shaped jar. As long as you remember to toss them out every six or seven years, you should be just fine.

  7. 7 martha_stewart June 15, 2007 at 10:45 am

    The only sensible solution, of course, is for one to plant and cultivate one’s own acre of caper bushes on the spare seaside land at one’s Mediterranean villa. The bushes are quite hardy, and require little attention to begin producing capers. Once the buds are ripe, simply have your houseboy, Enrique, harvest a batch and ship them by private jet to your estate in Connecticut. A simple 4-week pickling process employing Napa-style gray salt naturally harvested in Brittany will give your home-cured capers just the right briny flavor, and you can store them in any airtight glass container of your choosing! It’s a good thing.

  8. 8 Courtney June 15, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    Would a small measuring spoon work? A 1/2 teaspoon perhaps? I am back on the interwebs now (praise baby jesus) after a painful 36 hour seperation. Glad that’s over.

  9. 9 Kate June 15, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    Phrumpt! I KNEW this would happen! All of my readers offering me “helpful” suggestions! I don’t WANT helpful suggestions; I want capers to come in short, squat jars with wide mouths! Damn you helpful readers! Phlubbbt.

    Martha, your suggestion (unlike the others) seems like something I might be interested in implementing. I’ll call you for the details.

  10. 10 Margaret July 30, 2007 at 4:10 pm

    I cannot believe this; I am also looking for a spoon narrow enough for a capers bottle…I KNOW I’ve seen such a thing somewhere…just can’t remember the place. And as for a measuring spoon, it seems that they would mash the capers. Plus the handle is way too short…at least on mine. If I find anything I’ll let you know.

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