The Danny Seidenberg Effect

Over the years, Courtney and I have had our share of off-the-beaten-path crushes.  Courtney in particular is good at finding the princely qualities in the most froggish of men.  I don’t know where Courtney initially developed her ability to be so forgiving, but I definitely had a moment in college when I realized that class was just a lot more interesting if I could find it in my heart to be hot for the professor.  Let’s face it, every single person on earth has his or her attractive qualities.  Isn’t it a much nicer world when we can focus on the alluring aspects of one another?  I am here to tell you that once your 19-year-old mind has been opened to the hotness of your music theory teacher, it’s really not that big a leap to find almost anyone attractive.  Courtney and I still have weekly conversations about men in the periphery of our lives who have in some small way managed to capture our fancy.

Way back in 1995 Courtney and I met a man who forever altered the way we discuss our crushes.  We were participating in a month long "winter term" seminar with the Turtle Island String Quartet.  The personnel of the group has since changed, but at the time they had a guy named Tracy Silverman playing violin who was, by almost anyone’s standards, pretty good looking.  Tracy Silverman was the obvious heartthrob for twenty-year-olds to chose (and Courtney and I did spend a fair amount of time admiring him), but somehow our conversation always came back to the violist, Danny Seidenberg.  Although Danny wasn’t as typically good looking, he was funny and laid back, and even though he had a mustache (of all things), he also had a certain….something.  Over the course of the week, Danny became a growing obsession with Courtney and me, and the more we discussed his fine qualities, the hotter he became.  We were in the midst of what we would later (and forever more) refer to as, The Danny Seidenberg Effect.

Courtney and I have slightly differing opinions about the definition of The Danny Seidenberg effect, but to me an essential aspect of The Effect is the conscious and willing decision to be hot for a guy who wouldn’t ordinarily light your fire.  It’s an intellectual crush, not so much in that you are hot for the guy’s intellect, but in that you use your own to decide, "Hey, this guy has some awfully charming characteristics.  I’m going to have a girlish crush on him."   The Danny Seidenberg Effect doesn’t apply to guys you are actually in a position to date, it merely exists to make daily life more interesting.  Because of the age difference, Danny Seidenberg would have made an unrealistic boyfriend, but having and discussing my crush on him was highly enjoyable.

I encourage everyone to open their hearts to The Danny Seidenberg Effect!
(private to Danny Seidenberg:  This being the 21st century [and since I made no effort to change your name] you will eventually find this post.  It would terrible if you took this in any way other than a loving tribute.  Also, when I googled your name in search of a picture, I was pleased to find that you are still in fact, quite hot.)

Coming soon to Oh For Fun……The David Filner Syndrome.


11 Responses to “The Danny Seidenberg Effect”

  1. 1 Shalini June 8, 2007 at 7:36 pm

    1. Next time I see Danny, I am totally telling him about this post.

    2. I Googled Tracy Silverman, and that guy looks like fucking Kenny G.

    3. I am eagerly awaiting the opportunity to comment on The David Filner Syndrome.

  2. 2 Cousin Mary June 8, 2007 at 10:17 pm

    Yes, it’s a much nicer world when we focus on the “alluring aspects of one another.” As I focused on my enjoyment of your post, and on the delightful way your mind works, something nagged at me. Should I, or should I not, continue to comment on the grammar? After all, I got the gist and enjoyed it. Still, you asked…

    So here: “Danny became a growing obsession with Courtney and I…” This is simple to fix; remove the words “Courtney and” to let your ear figure it out. You will want to use “me” rather than “I” because it sounds right. It is right because in this case “me” is the object of the preposition “with.” Whereas when you write “Courtney and I still have weekly conversations,” you correctly use “I” because “Courtney and I” constitutes the subject of the sentence. Subject = I; object = me. I’ll stop now because some may be getting queasy.

  3. 3 elise June 8, 2007 at 10:51 pm

    a while ago i decided to have a crush on my super, Teddy. he is short, in his 50s and his ever-present laughy smile lights up my day, especially when he is buying fruit from the street stand or mopping the floor with sweet-smelling chemicals. would we be good together? probably not…at least not for the long haul. and he is also already married. thanks for giving a name to what i’m feeling, kate! this is the best blog ever.

  4. 4 Courtney June 8, 2007 at 11:36 pm

    The thing of it is, I really think Danny is hot. I saw him at CMF not that long ago and when I told Evan (the new Tracy Silverman) that I had a secret crush on Danny, he said “join the club.” Evidently, we are not alone. Danny rocks and I think he’s hot even though he wore sweatpants in public more than once during that week in Oberlin. As you know, grown men in sweatpants tends to be a deal breaker for me, but for Danny, I’ll let it slide.

  5. 5 Courtney June 8, 2007 at 11:42 pm

    a note on grammar: when deciding whether to use I or me, I just take the other person out of the sentence. You wouldn’t say “Danny became a growing obsession with I.” You’d use me. I find that this is the easiest way to figure it out. Thinking about subjects and objects and whatnot makes my head hurt.

  6. 6 elise June 9, 2007 at 12:04 am

    cute athletes can look hot in sweatpants.

  7. 7 ralph_ferris June 9, 2007 at 12:20 am

    At first I thought Cousin Mary’s comment: “remove the words “Courtney and” to let your ear figure it out.” was actually COURTNEY writing to object to being included in the Danny Seidenberg crush. Then I saw it was actually Cousin Mary.

    I have a crush on Cousin Mary. I want her to whisper sweet sweet grammar corrections in my ear.

    I mean I want her to be whispering sweetly grammared correctings my ear being into.

  8. 8 Kate June 9, 2007 at 2:04 am

    Shalini, are you telling me that you know Danny Seidenberg?! Like, you see and converse with him on a regular basis? I thought I would have a much wider safety zone on this one, but I stand by my post. Danny is hot. I googled T. Silverman and I can’t believe there was ever a time when I thought he was the obvious choice. He really does look like Kenny G.

    Mary, I have had a few drinks tonight and I don’t think that right now I quite understand your grammar lesson, but please, rest assured that I will NEVER take offense to your gentle grammar policing. I need your guidance. Tomorrow, when all this wine has worn off, I will carefully consider the I/me issue. I am eager to learn. Also, my friend Mike is totally in love with you. You should look out.

    Courtney, I hope you don’t feel like I am stealing your thunder on this one. I am quite sure that you were the one who first recognized Danny’s hotness. Tomorrow I will call you and you can explain the I/me situation.

    Elise, The Danny Seidenberg Effect is a marvelous thing. I say, if you can have a crush on your super, why not indulge? I can NOT wait for Apple hill this year. Things are going to be B-A-N-A-N-A-S. For reals.

    Ralph-Ferris, I know that you are Mike, but I do not understand the reference. Ethel? I don’t get it. Tomorrow I will call you and force you to explain yourself. Cousin Mary is far too good for the likes of you, you poor-grammar-wielding pervert! Stay away from Cousin Mary!

    Thank you, goodnight.

  9. 9 Shalini June 9, 2007 at 2:50 am

    I know Ralph Ferris, too! What the hell is going on here?

  10. 10 Ashley June 10, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    wow all this comotion! just wait for the david filner syndrome….that is the one I am waiting out for :)

  11. 11 Courtney June 10, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    I do not feel as though my thunder has been stolen in any way.

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