When I die and go to heaven (presuming God forgives me for this), I just might find myself at the Minnesota State Fair. I effing LOVE the fair. Thanks to my awesome work schedule, I usually find myself in Minneapolis in late August, perfect timing to hit The Great Minnesota Get Together. Yesterday, along with Lois, Mary, and Kathleen, I hit the fair- and I hit it haaaaaard.
There is a lot to tell you about the fair. I intended to do one gigantic post, but I realized I can’t cram the entire fair all into one blog entry. Today, we will be highlighting the farm animals. (The real star of the fair is the food, but I still have a stomach ache. I am not ready to relive the eating experience yet. Maybe tomorrow.)
The Animals
There are thousands of farm animals at The Fair. To me, (a city girl) all cows look the same, but apparently this is not true. Some cows are extra fabulous. The fabulous cows receive ribbons. Here is the very best dairy cow in Minnesota:
Coming soon to a Fuddrucker’s near you:
This poor dude is the Best Beef cow in Minnesota. Rough break, buddy.
I find sheep very funny. Sheep are cute and amazingly stupid. For reasons I do not understand, the sheep wear little jackets at The Fair. In their outfits, the sheep look like fuzzy little Klansmen. I don’t think that sheep are racists, but I think it’s best to keep a close eye on them…….just in case.
Best Pig in Show:
The most popular animal exhibit is The Miracle of Birth Center.
The Miracle of Birth Center contains all manner of horrors. The basic premise is that they fill a barn with preggers animals in the hopes that they will give birth during business hours. Eww. Seriously, eww. On the other hand, this is the barn where they keep the baby animals, aka The Cutest Ones. I have always felt wary of the Miracle of Birth barn. I like the babies, but I am horrified by the "miracle"of birth. All joking aside, I think it is a little strange that in order for a child to see a baby chick he also has to watch a calf fight his way out into the world. It is just very intense.
At first it is cute inside- real cute. I wanted to slip a couple of these fuzzy chicks into my pocket.
Awwwwww. Lambs!
Aaaaw.
Heh. Hi, little piglet.
Having a snooze?
You’re cute.
These people are watching a calf be born. It would easy to avoid the carnage except for the television screens. Just is case you can’t get close enough to the action, there are big screen teevees everywhere. The Minnesota State Fair really wanted me to experience the miracle of birth. I’m not going to lie, I felt violated. Violated and confused.
If you or a loved one have been violated by a state fair, please call 1-800-MIRACLE to speak to a counselor.
Now that your appetite is ruined, stay tuned for Part 2 of The Fair: The Food.
Oh For Fun! 
Those sheep in coats are weird. Why do they have to wear those things?
Please tell me they still do the sculptures of the dairy princesses out of 50lb blocks of butter…it wouldn’t be Minn State Fair without the butter sculptures.
The best thing about fairs is that you can look at all of the farm animals and turn right around and buy a hot dog not 50 feet away from the pigs.