Because of this massive three part blog post, I feel like I have been at the state fair for the last five days. I assure you I have not. I am actually back in Buffalo. Tomorrow I am heading to Baltimore for a wedding, and then finally I can hunker down at home. This has been a great summer.
Not everything in this final state fair post is odd. Mostly, this post represents a collection of the uncatogorizable odds and ends I found at the fair this year.
I’ll start with the least odd, and move on to the freakish from here. I happen to know a knitting superstar. Her name is Susie Farnum, and every year she wins multiple ribbons for her beautiful creations. No day at the state fair would be complete without a visit to see Susie’s knitted swag.
Susie probably designed and knit all of this stuff up one evening while watching television- she is crafty that way.
I like to spend a few minutes in the Horticulture building looking at gigantic pumpkins and prize winning seeds. I am always amused by the concept of vegetable competitions. For example:
I hope that the grower of the red ribbon corn is ashamed of himself. That corn is an embarrassment. Just look at it! I think I can hear the blue ribbon corn laughing.
I discovered something new at the fair this year, the Telvac Personality Analysis Machine. This highly scientific machine uses cutting edge technology to analyze the customer’s handwriting.
You can tell the technology is working by the hundreds of blinking red lights covering the surface of the machine. Once the technician has inserted your handwriting sample, the machine performs it’s mathematical wonders, and a personalized computer printout reveals the inner workings of your soul. I was amazed to discover I am "generous to a fault" and "occasionally mischievous". Just think of all of the money wasted on therapy by millions of Americans who have never heard of The Telvac Personality Analysis Machine. What a shame.
And now for the weirdest, oddest, freakiest Minnesota State Fair exhibit, The Butter Princesses.
No, your eyes do not deceive you, this is the face of a a high school senior, carved into 90 lbs of butter. The exhibit is called Princess Kay of the Milky Way. Each girl is the daughter of a dairy farmer. The exhibit consists of a refrigerated, revolving glass case containing one block of butter for each day of the fair. During the day, spectators can witness the carving of a Butter Princess. It is truly bizarre. My favorite part of this exhibit are the plain blocks of butter designated to be carved later on in the week.
Each block of butter represents a lovely lady, aching to be released from her creamy prison.
The princess gets to take her sculpture home.
How awesome would that monstrosity look taking up the bottom half of the refrigerator?
So that’s it people! The Great Minnesota Get Together. I hope you enjoyed your tour. If you ever have the opportunity to attend, do not miss your opportunity to see the fair. It is pretty much the greatest place on earth.
I will leave you with a portrait of the prize winning baked goods.
God Bless the great state of Minnesota.