Archive for June, 2006

Meet The Clam Shell

During the summer season my orchestra plays a bunch of outdoor concerts.  Orchestra musicians are a bit cranky when it comes to nature-y things, like rain or varnish burning sunlight on our instruments.   Luckily, the BPO has this delightful and handsome portable concert hall.  Sure, it might look like a tent to you, but rest assured, it was expensive and it takes a very long time to erect.  This is no ordinary tent. 

We call it The Clam. 



And here we are.  Seventy-two musical pearls (if you will) nestled safely inside The Clam Shell. 


Thanks for protecting us from the elements, Clam!



If you want to see something funny, you should watch this clip about goats that are bred to faint. 


If you want to see something absurd, you should watch this live action version of the first level of Super Mario Bros.  This clip is sort of mind bending- just think of the rehearsals.  Those nerds spend some serious time working this one out.  Well done, nerds.  Well done.

I Heart Toronto

Img_1893_1One of the best things about Buffalo is it’s proximity to Toronto.  Toronto is big, delicious, international, and all around terrific.  One of the best things about Sam is his love of all things Canadian.  Sam and Canada are two great tastes that taste great together.  Although I have been to Toronto probably a dozen times before, I saw more of the city in twenty four hours with Sam than I have in all of my other visits combined.  Sweet. 

Img_1876_2Here is a picture I took as I drove into town on the very fast, very crowded QEW (Queen Elizabeth Way).  The photographing while driving has got to stop.  (But, it won’t)

The good news is that this weekend was Gay Pride Weekend.  Hurray!  The bad news is that I forgot to bring my camera to the Gay Pride festivities.  BOO!  It hurt me to see so many fabulous blogable things, without the means to record them visually.  Oh, the sites!  Oh, the things these eyes have seen!  Dear reader, you will just have to imagine the boys in their underwear selling bottles of water and condoms.  Just close your eyes and visualize tens of thousands of hairless, shirtless men.  I had a hard time emotionally recovering from the lack-of-camera situation…..that is until I found the ketchup flavored potato chip stand.  Once I had a bag of ketchup flavored potato chips, all was forgotten except for their overwhelming, awesome deliciousness.  Men in assless chaps? Whatev.  Shirtless women with mustaches, suspenders, and bare boobs?  Yawn.  Ketchup flavored potato chips?  Sweet merciful heavens!  What will these wacky Canadians think of next?!

Img_1900Did you know that Toronto had islands?  Me either.  Oh, Toronto has islands all right.  Yesterday we took a fairy, um I mean ferry, to the Toronto Islands.  We rented cute (but ass breaking) bikes, and biked around for an hour.   

Look at cutie pie Samantha (he loves it when I call him that).  Sam took a handful of pictures of me but I hate them all, so again, just imagine me biking around in Toronto.  (Only please imagine me cuter and svelter than apparently I am.) 


Img_1896Careful.  Don’t prick your finger on the CN Tower.

This picture is for Pretty.


I have been short on non Alex Blumberg related post ideas lately, so in honor of my writers block, here is some more blog filler.  I always enjoy watching people get the giggles on television.  In this case, the giggler is Stephen Colbert.  Love.  I promise that soon I will learn how to post video directly onto this site. Until then, you’ll have to continue clicking on links.  I’m a loser that way.

I’m going to Toronto today.  Sammy McSammerson Bergman (he loves it when I call him that) is in Toronto for a bit, so I am jumping into the Civic Doodie and zipping north for the weekend.  Fire up the table grills, because I here I come.  Korean Barbecue Restaurant- I’m looking at YOU!  I’m looking, and I like what I’m seeing.


I just want you guys to know that there is a very amusing clog related argument playing out between Dooce and her husband Blurbomat.   The clog-haters and the clog-lovers have thrown down the gauntlet and all out war has erupted. 

It has been well established that I am very pro clog.  I would now like to state on record, and in public, that I am pro men in clogs.   Man + clogs = my kind of fella.

Showtime Ruins Everything

Sigh.  The fabulous Matt has alerted me to the disheartening fact that Showtime is making a TELEVISION show of This American Life (angrily shaking fist at sky).  You know what this means?  It means that Alex Blumberg is going to be an actual sort-of-star.  My plan is ruined.   

Just in case you forgot, the plan was this:

Eventually, Alex Blumberg googles himself and finds this website.  Intrigued, and amused by my quirky aplomb, he contacts me via email.  I send him a wickedly charming reply and he realizes that there might be an interesting radio piece here- something about googling your own name, or blogs, or blah blah blah, it really doesn’t matter.  The point is, he’s hooked- hooked on a feeling, and my wacky (but oddly alluring) internet stylings.   After our wildly popular TAL segment hits the air, we realize that what we thought was a funny little blog/radio bit, might be the start of something…beautiful.  We start cautiously dating (it’s a bit tricky because he is in Chicago and I’m in Buffalo).   The distance thing is hard, but we make it work, because our love is real and true and good.  About a year after we meet, just when the long distance situation is starting to become unbearable- I get into the Chicago Symphony!!!  Hurray!  The funny thing is, I don’t even tell him I’m auditioning because I don’t want him to get his hopes up- BUT I WIN THE CHICAGO SYMPHONY AUDITION.  The night of the audition, I take him out to dinner and surprise him with the news.  There is a lots of crying and kissing and joyfulness, which all culminates in him pulling a ring out of his pocket and proposing.  You see, he had been planning on proposing all along.  We get married in a small civil ceremony, and later we adopt a few public-radio-supporting Chinese daughters. 

It is a tale as old as time.  Foolproof.

But NOW, he is going to be on television.   And he’s moving to New York City.  And the more successful he becomes, the more will be written about him, and the less likely it is that he will google himself.  The worst part is that he might acquire females fans other than myself.   My plan only works if the plan itself is uniqueIf there are other women doing this, well, then my plan is just sad.  Sad and a little bit stalkery.

This plan was born out of the idea that imaginary (at least to me) men are somehow more appealing and less nerve wracking than the men that I actually know.  Sadly, now that my imaginary man is poised to be a bonafide intellectual heartthrob, I am far less attracted to him.  It’s just not the same.  True to life, when it comes to imaginary men, I lose interest at the first sign of competition from another woman.  I just don’t enjoy cat fights.  If Alex Blumberg can’t see me for the goddess that I am, well, he is clearly not the man for me.   If Alex Blumberg is sooooo dazzled by all of the other women who are writing about him on their blogs in the hopes that he will one day google himself and consequently fall in love with them, that he can’t recognize real love when he sees it?- well then he is not the man I thought he was.  The Alex Blumberg I (don’t really) know would never be so shallow as to fall for the clever trappings of the wrong woman.

The plan is ruined.

So thanks A LOT Showtime. 

ps- I would like to state for the record that until this morning I was totally unaware of Showtime’s dastardly plan to turn This American Life into a television show.  If Alex Blumberg does in fact become an intellectual heartthrob, I would like to be credited as the first woman in America to recognize him as such.


Img_1830_1This morning I had a pedicure, and my cloven hooves were sanded down to pretty pony feet.  I’m so fancy.